@Hereafter

by Amy LeBlanc

Amy LeBlanc has recently completed an honours BA in English Literature and creative writing at the University of Calgary where she is Editor-in-Chief of NōD Magazine.  Her work has appeared in (parenthetical), Untethered, and Canthius among others, and she received second place in the 2016 Blodwyn Memorial Prize for fiction.  Amy also has work forthcoming in Prairie Fire, the White Wall Review and Plenitude Magazine. She hopes to pursue a career in fiction and poetry, and has recently completed her first novella. She will begin a Bachelor of Education in the fall and plans to complete her MA in English Literature.

He says that she’s unattractive, but the subtext is that he doesn’t like girls who
are more comfortable in their skin than he is

with his masculinity. He made me realize I can stop apologizing to the
mannequins I run into—stop slipping confession notes into the books

I read for whomever needs them after me. I don’t apologize to the boy who left
his gum between my knees, because my arteries continue

to pump and my feet fit into my shoes without him. The amassment of buildings
and bodies and dealmakers and white men tells me that I don’t

need to rip eyelashes out for wishes. I’ve learned that the squeaky wheel gets
taken away. The arbiter of wineries, golf clubs, mortgages,

window frames, casinos, finds that these are grasping at the ceiling, fingers
spread into spider webs. In this bottom-less wanting,

unnecessary roughness earns you a slap on the shoulder and an extra hour of
locker room talk. We learn to grab back (if sex happens before

you wanted it) with chemicals between our fingers. I burn my throat on oatmeal
and my skin turns to scales—My pages are dog-eared

from turning corners too soon. In this one hundred and forty character locale, I’ll
blast out a constant reminder that

this mimeograph heart won’t be stopping any time soon.

 


Amy LeBlanc has recently completed an honours BA in English Literature and creative writing at the University of Calgary where she is Editor-in-Chief of NōD Magazine.  Her work has appeared in (parenthetical), Untethered, and Canthius among others, and she received second place in the 2016 Blodwyn Memorial Prize for fiction.  Amy also has work forthcoming in Prairie Fire, the White Wall Review and Plenitude Magazine. She hopes to pursue a career in fiction and poetry, and has recently completed her first novella. She will begin a Bachelor of Education in the fall and plans to complete her MA in English Literature.

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