Two Poems

by Bardia Sinaee

Bardia Sinaee is the author of the chapbook Blue Night Express (Anstruther Press). His poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in The Humber Literary ReviewThe Malahat ReviewThe Rusty Toque, and Best Canadian Poetry 2015 (Tightrope Books). He lives in Toronto.

Return to St. Joseph’s

Approaching Parkside from
the park, I spot the cross
above where, seven months
ago, they took me in.
Twelve hours of shooting
skeletal pain with nothing
but a saline drip and a single
cup of water that tasted
thick. They mapped my insides
out with dyes and rays. Before
I was conveyed into a half-
million-dollar cross between
a pop can and coffin,
the lab tech kindly placed
a lead shield over my crotch.
Earlier, walking past triage,
she’d given me this look
like, You howling, screw-
faced junkie, you won’t
get to me. So why the change
in disposition? Was
the morphine kicking in?
I had questions about organ
donation and who I was
supposed to call first.

 

After Anne Boyer

Sometimes my blood has been drawn,
and I am allowed to look
at a printed page of its ingredients.
Sometimes the body produces new samples,
data, objects of study that,
though unintelligible to me, undermine me
at every turn. Platelets
and liver enzymes might contradict
my stated well-being on a scale
of one to ten. Stool on the other hand
is rated from one to six based on
consistency, but here the nurses
must be poets, too: if it’s ever pale
or tarry, stringy, loose or flimsy, or
if, conversely, it feels like
a pine cone is coming out …
Like preachers or string theorists,
they traffic in metaphors for
information two bodies can never really
share. There is caring
and providing care. I might sometimes
remember who I am.

 


Bardia Sinaee is the author of the chapbook Blue Night Express (Anstruther Press). His poems have recently appeared or are forthcoming in The Humber Literary ReviewThe Malahat ReviewThe Rusty Toque, and Best Canadian Poetry 2015 (Tightrope Books). He lives in Toronto.

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